She's not who she wanted to be...she might be more.

I never wanted to be this mom ... I wanted to roll my kids in dirt and tell them to "walk it off"... This Mom hovers, this mom says things like " Don't touch that dirt it has mold and bacteria it will make you sick!".I wanted to be the mom that searches for the perfect mud puddle to stomp in...This mom has to say "no" way to much... no playing outside, no standing on the rug if your nose is bleeding,no you can't go to Nana's house cause its to far from the hospital. I wanted to be the mom that plans adventures ...This mom has to take notes on medication and have a go bag ready(but not for adventure). He is over halfway done with chemotherapy, and I am grateful for his prognosis. But there will forever be the "what if it happens again" hanging over our heads. He is to the point that he knows the chemo makes him sick and he is starting to beg to not do it anymore. It breaks my heart to tell him we have to and I know its hard. And I'll never get to be Mom I wanted to be. I have to be more, more than I ever knew I could be. I know I have to let the other Mom go. I morn her everyday. And everyday I wake up and try to be the mom they need and hope it is enough.

If you know a mom that has a child with cancer a simple text saying what a good job they are doing goes a really long way. We are most of the time holding it all together with gum and one shoe lace.